Wednesday, 9 January 2013

'Same Sex Marriage' - revisited - still an oxymoron.

I blogged almost a year ago about 'same sex marriage' - having had various discussions, debates and arguments about it I thought it was about time to summarise developments.

One thing that hasn't changed is that 'same sex marriage' is still an oxymoron (self contradicting), it cannot exist.
However the arguments to explain this situation have developed since I last blogged and there is one that is particularly key - so here goes.
The essence of marriage is an exclusive relationship between the two parties. A man and a woman who are married are legally bound to only have sexual intercourse with each other - breaking this exclusivity is 'adultery' and with no further ado is grounds for divorce. In fact the marriage only properly begins when they do have sexual intercourse together following the ceremony and by so doing 'consummate' the marriage.
Returning to (say) 'an old flame' or having a 'one night stand' even the once is 'adultery' and in itself grounds for divorce. There is no need to demonstrate any particular damage, hurt, reasonableness - the act itself is all that matters.
However, it has been 'decided' that under 'same sex marriage' the definition of consummation and adultery will not be changed to cover same-sex situations. So a partner in a 'same sex marriage' could indeed return to an old flame, or have a one night stand and would not be considered 'adulterous'. For the 'marriage' to be terminated by divorce some proof of 'unreasonableness' would have to be demonstrated by the 'other' partner.
More perversely - if a partner in a same-sex marriage did have sexual intercourse with another person (of the opposite sex...) it would be considered adultery(!). So performing an act with someone that they had never, and could never perform with their 'partner' becomes grounds for divorce, while performing sexual acts they can/do perform with their partner are not!
This isn't a 'new' or 'clever' argument - it is just capturing some essence of my initial objection to 'same sex marriage' - marriage recognises and protects a unique and exclusive relationship between one man and one woman focused on the unique act of creating children together and raising a family.
'Same sex marriage' defines nothing that makes the couples relationship exclusive or unique - the essence of 'marriage' is simply not there - 'same sex marriage' is indeed an oxymoron.